Hello All,
I have been missing in action I know, but I am back! I will keep this short because I have had some issues with my eyes (pink eye) which has made it a little difficult to be at a computer reading and writing. This infection has however made me have to think about how I will sabotage myself when I see the beginnings of some real changes in my life. I do it all the time and this time I created an issue with my eyes so as to prevent me from being able to do that thing which I have committed to.
Isn't that often the case when we commit to life changes that something or other presents itself as a road block? I find it so in my life all the time; except that I have come to the understanding that the something or other is me! I believe that it is me who creates the circumstances of my life with my thinking. I can, if I am willing to be honest look at my life and compare its current state with my thoughts and see a direct correlation between the two. This may seem ridiculous to some while others may whole-heartily agree, but I know this to be true for m. I know that the power of life and death is in the tongue and before the words are spoken, they are first thoughts that are eventually made manifest in my life. So this time my self-sabotaging method was to create a sickness that would directly affect even if only temporarily my ability to read and to write. Now, for those who don't yet quite understand their own power know that this is quite possible and later I will get into in more detail because in order for us women to heal properly and to take this planet back over, we will need to know and fully embrace this power! But for now, I wanted to get back to my mission before I let to much time pass and I allow myself any excuse to deny success. I am onto myself and will be diligent about achieving my goals. So I am asking you women to help hold me accountable by reaching out to me and pulling my coattail if I allow more than a few days to pass without sending out a message. Thank you all in advance and will be back soon!
Bye for now
Deonae
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Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Friday, June 25, 2010
Why Can't We Cry?
Yesterday as I was scrolling through my facebook page I came across a post written by a woman who is usually very upbeat and encouraging in her daily post, that it shocked me to see her post stating that she was having a difficult time and needed to keep it together for all of the people who were depending upon her. I posted a comment for her and as a result was able to keep up with all of the threads thereafter and was perplexed at what I read so much so that I am writing about it today. Let begin by saying how I was touched by the number of people who reached out to her in support. I have no idea what she is going through in her life at this moment, but I am certain that after everyone reached out in support of her that she will find the strength to get through it whatever it may be. I did however find some of what I read unsettling because many people who were women were saying to her "keep it in, pull it together". Now, I could be wrong in my interpretation of what I was reading, but I found it alarming that so many women were on board with the idea of "holding it together". Again, I will say that I do not know what is going on in this woman's life on a daily basis, so I am writing strictly from my own point-of-view, as she could be whining and crying on a daily basis and folks are tired of it and saying "get it together!" But I do not think this is the case, so I will continue with my original train of thought, which is to say why can't we cry? As if holding it together somehow makes us stronger. Trust me I understand that as women we don't like to appear weak and emotional, but does having one or even a few major breakdowns in our lives enough to classify ourselves as weak? I think not! I want to know why it is that we believe that we must hold it together all the time and that if we do not, that we have somehow failed ourselves and the people that we love. I know that for many it is difficult for us to show emotion, especially depending upon the culture and background from which you come. There are many outside influences that dictate why we are or are not expressive in our emotions. For, example, in my culture, as a black woman, crying and big displays of emotion unless one is at church or at a funeral (at church) are not readily acceptable. I don't know why exactly, but I can infer that is it due in large to the structure of our homes. It is well known and sad to say that most African American homes are headed by single women. It is this phenomenon; I believe dictates most of our emotional actions so to speak. I will speak for a moment as one of those head of the household women and talk about my personal fear behind the displaying of (negative) emotion. My number one concern is for my children. I feel as though if I do cry in front of them, then the little ones, who depend upon and always look to me to make all things right in the world, will lose confidence in their safety. This may or may not be true, but it is how I feel. My second concern is for the people who look out for me and who are concerned for the safety and well being of me and the kids. Next on the list would be the people (who I'll admit are probably imaginary) who would judge me for not holding it together and are looking for me to fail and finally on the list of concerns are the people who I do not consciously realize or remember who are looking to me as an example of how this thing should be done. I feel as though if I do not always remain that pillar of strength and confidence then perhaps the world will slide off of its axis and come crashing to a definite demise! That was highly overstated, but I think you get the point I am trying to make which is we feel as if the weight of the world is on our shoulders and the negative effects of those thoughts reveal themselves in our everyday lives, by way of anger, frustration, sickness and unhealthy relationships. Holding in our emotions is what opens the pathway to our major breakdowns. Those feelings have to express themselves and left to their own will wreak havoc in your life! Too many of us are getting sick and dying from preventable deaths because we are not allowing the negative stuff out and it is manifesting itself as sickness in our bodies. Perhaps I will write about this later, but for now… Back to who made up the rules about our crying and losing it? Who made that up anyway? I am almost certain it wasn’t one of us and I will refrain from naming names! How did we come to the conclusion that crying equated weakness when in many cases it is exactly the opposite. Crying is a natural way of expressing the emotions of sadness, frustration, disappointment and sometimes even happiness, so where did the absurd notion that crying meant weakness. Was Jesus being weak when he wept? I don’t know that anyone ever thought he was a loser or a punk or weak because he displayed tears. Before we all bring out our boxes of tissue and start our crying fest, we must remember to keep things all in perspective. There is such a thing as too much of something. I am not by any stretch of the imagination condoning rolling over and being a wimp. I am saying that the displaying of emotions are not bad when necessary or appropriate, but that they only become harmful, when we allow our emotions to rule us. Remember when Jesus told Peter to walk on water during the storm? My interpretation of this scripture is this: The storm was the turmoil or trouble that Peter and the fisherman were dealing with and the water Peter was told to walk on were his emotions. In essence what Jesus was saying to Peter is that your emotions in this moment are not serving you well so you would do best to rule them and not they you. The same can be said for each of us on a daily basis, we cannot always be ruled by our emotions, but there are times when they are plenty useful to us. While no two peoples journey's are exactly the same, as women, I believe there is more commonality in our story's than not. We all have stresses in our lives, some more complex than others but stresses nonetheless and stress is relative. As some might look at one woman's situation and say to her that's all you have to worry about, she does has no understanding that it might be massive in the eyes of the beholder. So let us not get caught up in whose stress or difficulties are greater than the other but let us remember that we all have something we consider an issue. With that I ask that we allow some space in our sisterhood for some healing tears, be they in private or alongside someone you can trust let them out and never ever be afraid of losing it because from my own experience, you are stronger than you know and will always land right side up if you say so!
Peace and Love,
Deonae
Peace and Love,
Deonae
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Find and Live Your Passion!
Good Day!
I had not intended to make entries more than once a day, but I must share how excited I was to have started on this journey. I was so excited last night after I published my first post, I could hardly sleep. Once I lay down, so many writing ideas began flooding my mind, I felt like I needed to get out of bed to write them all down. I didn't, but I believe I will always be inspired and have more than enough to write and share with you all.
I wish that I could adequately convey all the feelings of joy and excitement I feel right now. I have been searching for a very long time for my calling, the thing that would give me great pleasure in doing and would not feel like work to me when I was doing it. There have been so many things that I have liked, and that have been easy for me to do, but nothing has felt like what this feels like now. I have, I am sure like so many others, done many things that I did not like, but did them because I had to. Can I tell you that I struggled with not having a passion. I tried making it so many things, but nothing until now felt right. Why am I telling you this, you ask? It is because I am hoping to inspire these same feelings in you, by encouraging you to follow your heart and hold fast to your dreams! Yes, you do have dreams and talents to support those dreams! I can hear the protests of how there is just nothing at which you are really good and I am saying this is simply not true. If I can give some advice here, it would be for you to stop judging yourself so harshly. Women are so quick to judge and to compare ourselves to someone else and then to say, "I am not as good as so in so" which then defines in our minds our level of success or for this matter failure because we never try having then made us an automatic failure and further adding to our unhappiness or to the feelings of discontent. Let me also add that you are not cultivating your talents or living out your passion for anyone but yourself! We are not trying to impress anyone here, we are doing that which gives us and us alone joy! Because you are doing this for you, there is nothing to fear in allowing your passion to reveal itself. Your talents or your passion are not hidden and buried so deep within that you can not recall them and begin to take action toward seeing them through to fruition! It is in our willingness to not follow our dreams or at the very least do the things that give us joy in life that I believe is a large part of what makes us so unhappy and causes us to hurt so much.
Somewhere in our lives, most likely as a young child, someone (probably a person who we loved and trusted) told us that what we loved to do wasn't going to make us any money or that it was somehow impossible for us to be a success for whatever reason at that thing and we believed it. These people I believe were well meaning and trying to protect us, while not knowing the damage they were causing. We bought into the falsehood that we should find a good job, one which would make us self-sufficient and that would become our life purpose whether we liked it or not. Perhaps that isn't your story at all, maybe you are the woman who comes from a tradition or culture of women who marry and have families at a very young age and that was the reason you never cultivated your dream. Whatever the reason, I say start living your dream now. I know, I know you have heard this before and there is a reason for that and that is because when you don't you are destined to always feel as if something is missing from your life. Regardless of the level of success you obtain or the happiness you have with your family and friends, there will always be this feeling of something missing if you continue to deny your passion. I am hear to tell you from my own first hand account that there is a talent of some kind that you have that the world needs to know about. Your life depends on your finding that dream! We are all counting on you to do so, the state of the world needs you to dig deep within and bring forth your creative expression.
I think I should clarify. I am in no way saying to you that you should quit your job or dismiss your responsibilities in anyway. What I am suggesting is that you carve out for yourself in what I know is already an overwhelming schedule and make time for your hidden expression to reveal itself. By doing this, I know you will begin to feel whole again. It is by doing this, you will begin to find peace and joy. It is by doing this you will find or remember God. It where where you will begin to feel yourself heal. You deserve to feel real joy that comes from within. I am not saying that you have not felt joy, sure we get that from our children, spouses, significant others, family members and friends, but the joy I am speaking of now is something that can come only from within you. It is like no other ever experienced and once you've had a taste, you will never, ever give it up again. I hope that you will give yourself this time to discover or to re-discover that source of joy for yourself.
Until Next Time, Success in Everything
Deonae
I had not intended to make entries more than once a day, but I must share how excited I was to have started on this journey. I was so excited last night after I published my first post, I could hardly sleep. Once I lay down, so many writing ideas began flooding my mind, I felt like I needed to get out of bed to write them all down. I didn't, but I believe I will always be inspired and have more than enough to write and share with you all.
I wish that I could adequately convey all the feelings of joy and excitement I feel right now. I have been searching for a very long time for my calling, the thing that would give me great pleasure in doing and would not feel like work to me when I was doing it. There have been so many things that I have liked, and that have been easy for me to do, but nothing has felt like what this feels like now. I have, I am sure like so many others, done many things that I did not like, but did them because I had to. Can I tell you that I struggled with not having a passion. I tried making it so many things, but nothing until now felt right. Why am I telling you this, you ask? It is because I am hoping to inspire these same feelings in you, by encouraging you to follow your heart and hold fast to your dreams! Yes, you do have dreams and talents to support those dreams! I can hear the protests of how there is just nothing at which you are really good and I am saying this is simply not true. If I can give some advice here, it would be for you to stop judging yourself so harshly. Women are so quick to judge and to compare ourselves to someone else and then to say, "I am not as good as so in so" which then defines in our minds our level of success or for this matter failure because we never try having then made us an automatic failure and further adding to our unhappiness or to the feelings of discontent. Let me also add that you are not cultivating your talents or living out your passion for anyone but yourself! We are not trying to impress anyone here, we are doing that which gives us and us alone joy! Because you are doing this for you, there is nothing to fear in allowing your passion to reveal itself. Your talents or your passion are not hidden and buried so deep within that you can not recall them and begin to take action toward seeing them through to fruition! It is in our willingness to not follow our dreams or at the very least do the things that give us joy in life that I believe is a large part of what makes us so unhappy and causes us to hurt so much.
Somewhere in our lives, most likely as a young child, someone (probably a person who we loved and trusted) told us that what we loved to do wasn't going to make us any money or that it was somehow impossible for us to be a success for whatever reason at that thing and we believed it. These people I believe were well meaning and trying to protect us, while not knowing the damage they were causing. We bought into the falsehood that we should find a good job, one which would make us self-sufficient and that would become our life purpose whether we liked it or not. Perhaps that isn't your story at all, maybe you are the woman who comes from a tradition or culture of women who marry and have families at a very young age and that was the reason you never cultivated your dream. Whatever the reason, I say start living your dream now. I know, I know you have heard this before and there is a reason for that and that is because when you don't you are destined to always feel as if something is missing from your life. Regardless of the level of success you obtain or the happiness you have with your family and friends, there will always be this feeling of something missing if you continue to deny your passion. I am hear to tell you from my own first hand account that there is a talent of some kind that you have that the world needs to know about. Your life depends on your finding that dream! We are all counting on you to do so, the state of the world needs you to dig deep within and bring forth your creative expression.
I think I should clarify. I am in no way saying to you that you should quit your job or dismiss your responsibilities in anyway. What I am suggesting is that you carve out for yourself in what I know is already an overwhelming schedule and make time for your hidden expression to reveal itself. By doing this, I know you will begin to feel whole again. It is by doing this, you will begin to find peace and joy. It is by doing this you will find or remember God. It where where you will begin to feel yourself heal. You deserve to feel real joy that comes from within. I am not saying that you have not felt joy, sure we get that from our children, spouses, significant others, family members and friends, but the joy I am speaking of now is something that can come only from within you. It is like no other ever experienced and once you've had a taste, you will never, ever give it up again. I hope that you will give yourself this time to discover or to re-discover that source of joy for yourself.
Until Next Time, Success in Everything
Deonae
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Hello World
Hello All,
First, I would like to thank you for visiting my blog! I have been daring myself to do this for a very long time now and I have finally gotten the courage to follow through! I ask that you be gentle with me at first as this is my first attempt at any such undertaking.
I am here, now, in this space writing because I have a calling on my heart to do so. As I look around everyday into the faces of the women I encounter I see the deep rooted pain placed there from our lives. I feel the calls for help and guidance and finally feel compelled enough to give my part; to give any assistance that I can. I wasn't sure how I could help at first or even that I really wanted to for that matter. Truthfully, I haven't been very fond of women for the better part of my life (does anybody know what I mean?!) I had to chew on this for a while and truly question if this was something I was really supposed to be doing. My working with or giving anything to women seemed pretty funny to me! After getting up from laughing on the floor and a couple of weeks of contemplation and I came to realize it was no joke and that I had some work to do.
I am certain, I am not the only one who has taken notice to the current hurtful state of women. Tell me, haven't you noticed the pain or felt this calling for help that has appeared itself in so many? How are the relationships between you and your friends, female colleagues, or female family members? Are they as fulfilling as you would like? What are your conversations about, are they uplifting or are you constantly sharing the woes of your lives. Tell me honestly, can you really go to your friends in confidence and tell them anything and trust that what you have shared goes no further or that you will not be judged for what you have spoken from your heart? If not then why? Is there an under current of competition that exists between you and your girlfriends that keeps you from sharing your triumphs because you know they will not be happy for you? How are the relationships with your daughters, are they as solid and as loving as they are with the one you have with your sons? What is it that allows us to and how do we after some number years begin to dim our lights and to squash our dreams? These are the things I have begun to ponder in my own life and wish to explore and examine them with you, with the aspiration of healing us all and then to ultimately bring healing to the world. The feminine is the "All that Is" and with it in its current deficient state there should be no wonder as to the current condition of our planet and all that it holds within.
Some of you may wonder and may ask what me gives the right to start a forum such as this. Well, it's because I feel as though I have to. This is the first step in what I believe is something very big to come! I am not a licensed anything, I am a woman who has had many experiences in my life and have shared in the many experiences of my friends and family members and feel as though I have something to offer by way of an outside perspective to aid you in your journey. As we begin this walk together, it is my intention that I will grow with you and that we will succeed in healing the women of the world. I desire that we create and permanently establish unity between us all and that we learn to celebrate ourselves and begin to look more closely at what makes us alike and give no further attention to that which sets us apart.
It is time for me to sign off for now, but it is with my deepest gratitude to you all for embarking with me on this journey!
Bye for now
Deonae
First, I would like to thank you for visiting my blog! I have been daring myself to do this for a very long time now and I have finally gotten the courage to follow through! I ask that you be gentle with me at first as this is my first attempt at any such undertaking.
I am here, now, in this space writing because I have a calling on my heart to do so. As I look around everyday into the faces of the women I encounter I see the deep rooted pain placed there from our lives. I feel the calls for help and guidance and finally feel compelled enough to give my part; to give any assistance that I can. I wasn't sure how I could help at first or even that I really wanted to for that matter. Truthfully, I haven't been very fond of women for the better part of my life (does anybody know what I mean?!) I had to chew on this for a while and truly question if this was something I was really supposed to be doing. My working with or giving anything to women seemed pretty funny to me! After getting up from laughing on the floor and a couple of weeks of contemplation and I came to realize it was no joke and that I had some work to do.
I am certain, I am not the only one who has taken notice to the current hurtful state of women. Tell me, haven't you noticed the pain or felt this calling for help that has appeared itself in so many? How are the relationships between you and your friends, female colleagues, or female family members? Are they as fulfilling as you would like? What are your conversations about, are they uplifting or are you constantly sharing the woes of your lives. Tell me honestly, can you really go to your friends in confidence and tell them anything and trust that what you have shared goes no further or that you will not be judged for what you have spoken from your heart? If not then why? Is there an under current of competition that exists between you and your girlfriends that keeps you from sharing your triumphs because you know they will not be happy for you? How are the relationships with your daughters, are they as solid and as loving as they are with the one you have with your sons? What is it that allows us to and how do we after some number years begin to dim our lights and to squash our dreams? These are the things I have begun to ponder in my own life and wish to explore and examine them with you, with the aspiration of healing us all and then to ultimately bring healing to the world. The feminine is the "All that Is" and with it in its current deficient state there should be no wonder as to the current condition of our planet and all that it holds within.
Some of you may wonder and may ask what me gives the right to start a forum such as this. Well, it's because I feel as though I have to. This is the first step in what I believe is something very big to come! I am not a licensed anything, I am a woman who has had many experiences in my life and have shared in the many experiences of my friends and family members and feel as though I have something to offer by way of an outside perspective to aid you in your journey. As we begin this walk together, it is my intention that I will grow with you and that we will succeed in healing the women of the world. I desire that we create and permanently establish unity between us all and that we learn to celebrate ourselves and begin to look more closely at what makes us alike and give no further attention to that which sets us apart.
It is time for me to sign off for now, but it is with my deepest gratitude to you all for embarking with me on this journey!
Bye for now
Deonae
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