The other night, my kids decided they wanted to have game night. They invited our neighbor over and as I cooked dinner they sat down to play a game that our neighbor had brought with her. The game my neighbor brought to play is called Sequence. The object of this game is to get five of your markers down on the board in a row, while at the same time preventing others from getting their own sequences. There are one and two eyed jokers involved in playing which allow players to block each other and substitute cards to allow for completion of a sequence. The game sounded like it would be fun to play if you weren't 13 and 11 year old siblings whose objective is to obliterate each other at any opportunity given while playing or at any given time for that matter! Knowing this is how my children are, I chose to sit and observe not wanting to get caught in the crossfire and there definitely was crossfire!
While I was watching I was able to observe how my children think as I believe that game playing or sports play are two of the best ways in which to observe how anyone is in their real life. The field and board are metaphors for life and how one is on the field or board will be exactly how they are in their everyday life. So I took advantage of this opportunity to observe just how my children are. Having plenty of opportunity to observe my son because he is actively involved in sports all the time, I decided to take a closer look at my daughter. Not to my surprise, I noticed how competitive she is, but what was surprising is how much energy she gave to only stopping her brother from gaining any sequences. She gave no time or thought at all to setting up any sequences of her own. When I tried bringing it to her attention and explain to her that she could never win the game by trying to stop him only, she got mad, again not to my surprise. She could not get that I only wanted her to be able to see that her actions were self-defeating and in the long self-destructive.
This scenario I know is one-dimensional and could be reduced to sibling rivalry by some who may be thinking that I may be putting too much on it, but am I? Let's roll with the idea that the game board is in fact a metaphor for life. This being so if my daughter or any other woman were to operate in her life exactly like she did while playing the game how much success or how many wins would she have in her own life. Could she attend to any dreams or goals that she may have for herself? Let us break it down even further, if her attention was focused solely upon her stopping her perceived opponent would she even have dreams or goals of her own to attend to? The answer is most likely not as she is giving all of her time, attention and energy to someone else's life with this someone whoever she is likely to be fully engaged in her own life and possibly completely unaware that she is even in a competition with someone else at all.
Notice that I said her perceived opponent because more often than not, when a woman is in competition with another, the other women doesn't even know the competition exists. Why is this? Why do we compete? I know why men do it; it is a part of their nature to be natural competitors, to want to be bigger better and faster, but why do women do it? Our makeup is not the same as men; we are not competitive by nature. In fact, we the completely opposite, created to be in harmony with and to support nature. I don't think we really know the answer. Yet, don't you find it true that we often both secretly and rarely openly compare ourselves to some other woman and wish to be like her, if not to be her. Who is it that sets the standard for what a person should have and look like and then how do we fall into that mindset and forget that we are individuals with a unique purpose which can be filled by nobody else? Why are we making comparisons? We are who we are on purpose. There were no accidents or mistakes made when we were created. God created everything the heavens and the earth, man and woman and said it was "GOOD", so how then did we decide something different. He didn't say some of it is good and the other not so much. He said all of it was good. How then did we get to the place where we would seek to define ourselves according to what someone else has or how they look?
I know that most people are living lives that are unfulfilled, but wanting someone else's life will not make yours more fulfilling. Wanting someone else to fail in their life certainly will not make yours more fulfilling. Competition is not the way to get to your goals. Competition only creates more competition; there will always be somebody who is ahead of you. The only way to have a fulfilling life is to make yours more fulfilling. Get involved in your life make it what you want it to be. Learn to be happy with you and be the best you that you can possibly be. I am certain you have some strengths, talents and favorable attributes that need cultivating or possibly discovering. But if you spend all of your time yearning to be someone else how will you ever know what you are capable of? You are a contribution to the world with your own gifts and talents. Each person has a place, a position designed specifically for them that no other person can fill and if you are unwilling to play your part the world is missing something valuable and essential. Concern yourself with your life and making it the best ever! Make doing you so fun that everyone will want to find and discover the best them!
Be A Light!
No comments:
Post a Comment