Take Time for YOU

This morning while in the middle of making breakfast I got a text from my bf jokingly asking what I was cooking for breakfast and could she get a plate. I replied that I was actually in the middle of cooking toast, turkey sausage, eggs and hash browns and asked if she wanted some. After an exchange of a few more text she asked who I was cooking for knowing my kids were with their father this weekend. I happily replied that I was cooking for myself! I had gotten up this morning and decided to appreciate and be good to me and not feel guilty about it!

As a single mom, I am kept very busy doing this and that while running here and there constantly primarily for my kids. I wear so many hats like most other women that on any given day I am at least three different things that include but are not limited to mother, counselor, chauffer, housekeeper, juggler, magician, lover, and all around super hero. I am not complaining, (though on some days I do) so much as I am trying to make a point. I am constantly doing, but rarely is the doing for me. I have the feeling I am not alone and that the majority of women whether single parents or not are caught in the perpetual cycle of do do do, forgetting to take time out for them.

This is not good. As strong as we are and let me tell you we are some strong, we all need some down time, some me time, some self appreciation time. This time is all too important, not just for us, but for the ones we love so much that we are willing to run ourselves into the ground for to make sure they have everything they need. In order for us to be the best we can be, we need to learn to be a little bit selfish with our time and do something that is only me related. Down time away from the kids, spouse, lover, and dog if for a few hours or a few days on a regular basis are essential to our health and wellness. Not to mention the good it will do for our loved ones. If you need to hear that you will not be a bad mother if you insist on taking time for yourself, then I am saying so now, you will not be. In fact quite the opposite will be true, because by doing so you are making yourself more available to them because you will be kinder, more patient and present to them.

I know that we are all taught not to be selfish and being a woman by in large requires great amounts of selflessness but I am talking about the exception to the rule here. What real good are we to anyone if we are run down both mentally and physically? From my own personal experience, I know not much good at all. In order for us to be the most, useful, effective, and productive women for our planet, we must remember to care for and appreciate ourselves! Go away now if only for a little while and DO YOU!

Best of Everything,

Deonae

 

All Is Well

Today at work I was reminded that this day marks the end of the fiscal year which for many brings the reality of not having a job to go to tomorrow or in the very near future. I personally know several people the poor state of the economy has affected and I can see in their faces behind the brave smiles the uncertainty the close of this day brings with it. My position fortunately will not be (directly) affected though there have been several people who have alluded to the possibility that the number of days I will be afforded to work is tied to the now eminent layoffs and for a moment I allowed myself to ponder the idea of not having enough days to work and what that might mean to my family financially and could feel the immense pressure of the thought of not having enough settling down on me and I felt myself at the brinks of worry, until I remembered that All Is Well!

I do not say this to make light of the situation because I have deep sympathy for those who have indeed lost their jobs. I have been there before and know what it feels like to not know, be aware of, or to remember that All Is Well. What I mean by this declaration is that I go to the place where I know God is and settled into the All Is Well. Without that reassurance, I am pretty certain I would be a frazzled mess obsessed with worry about how I would care for my children and all of my responsibilities but instead what I chose to remember and align myself with is the safety and assurance that is God.

In the Kingdom of God ladies is the only place where there is absolute safety! The world offers none AT ALL! The world can only offer the illusion of safety and nothing more. As we have seen in recent years and in times before, there isn't a good enough job, enough money, savings, investment, powerful friends, or fico score large enough to keep us from financial ruin at any moment. The only place to go where there is infinite abundance and absolute safety is in the Kingdom of God. This journey is just too hard, painful, and frightening without the assistance and guidance of the Creator of the Universe to get you through.

I will not attempt to define God for you or even to tell you the type of relationship you should have with the Creator because I believe that is far too personal and actually kind of rude. I am however admonishing you to if you do not already have a relationship, to build one as now unlike any other time before it is necessary to have a strong connection to our Creator. We are experiencing a change in the world like none we have ever seen and as women we have a responsibility to go back to being the overseers of the earth as we once were. In order for us to restore balance to the earth we have to be willing to get back to our original feminine nature which means that we must reconnect with God. Once we have done so and we are strengthened and renewed, we will begin to see the peace that we hold within show in our world outside of us. Our children will no longer be frightened and our men will stand strong and courageous again and we will be able to face adversities such as the loss of a job not only for ourselves but for our friends and co-workers with the unwavering assurance that All Is Well!

 

Success in Everything,

Deonae

Staying Focused

I've been away for a minute and I wish I had some exciting adventures or tales of triumph to share with you as to why I've not written in such a long time, but I have nothing. What I do have however are words of encouragement for you to stay focused on whatever it is you desire for your life. For a minute now, I have been doing what I call "spinning" which is doing a lot of movement while getting virtually nowhere! It is quite laughable once I stop taking things so seriously. Because of my "spinning" I have come to understand, sometimes in hindsight, that everything happens for a reason and that nothing happens haphazardly in the universe.

Over the past couple of months, I have been distracted and to some degree discouraged about not having things in my life exactly (or not even remotely close to) like I think they should be. Because I have big dreams, goals and some very good ideas I sometimes get caught up in the "microwave" way of thinking our society has become accustomed to and expect for things to change for me overnight. I am given a good idea, then think a few thoughts about it once or twice and expect instantaneous results. That's unrealistic I know, but I have noticed that many people operate in that same fashion and actually expect to see some kind of change. I have also noticed that when I start to think like this that I become discouraged and begin beating up on myself for not having done this or that so that I can be at x place right now and thus begins the tailspin which ultimately sets me back and requires that I nearly have to start all over again.

I forget, well, more truthfully I try and skirt the reality that all too often that most everything meaningful we have ever attained in life or desire for our lives requires a process to be gone through before we can experience the reality of them. This "process" is each of the required steps that lay in the middle which must be taken before one can achieve any goal and or see any desired for change realized. I am reminded at this moment of a farmer and his harvest. The objective of any farmer is to produce a healthy and harvestable crop, but before the farmer can see his healthy crop, he must first plant his seeds and tend to them daily with fertilizer and water in order for them to sprout, take root and eventually produce a healthy harvest. The same process is true of a woman when expecting. Everyone knows the required "processing" time for having a "healthy" birth is nine (10!!!) months. There are of course exceptions to the rule, but in general, every woman can expect to wait the full term of the pregnancy before she gifts birth and the gift of life which is the ultimate goal. While the waiting part or the stuff in the middle may not always be the most easy to endure and could in fact require some hard work and concentration, it is a necessary part of every journey and each every endeavor. We all want to the reach our goals quickly, but it is important that we remember there are many valuable lessons to be learned on the way to reaching them and that the process is something that is meant to be enjoyed and is not intended to frustrate or deter us as we often allow it to do. Regardless of what we have been told, time is not running out and there is plenty of time to see your goals and dreams become reality. I encourage you to instead of resisting the process, to simply stay focused and learn to embrace it, enjoy it all as it all has value and meaning.

Success In Everything!

In a conversation between the head and the heart which one wins?
How do you know what each is saying and when?
The conversation is love.
The question is when to stay and when to walk away?
One of them says it’s time, time to walk away.
The other speaks and says “but” you love them and must stay.
Confusion. Which way?
I hear from inside follow your heart that is the only way.
That’s it!
Still disillusioned, but I followed my heart I say!
Was that my heart I was listening to when I heard the word stay?
I thought I knew, because surely that is what love would say.
My head is logical practical it knows, my head, the right way.
My heart it can’t be trusted it is soft and easily led astray.
I am wrong! I realize my heart never lies. It is the logical trusted one who is on my side.
A way to my highest place it what it provides.
Now I realize my head in heart disguise tried to take its place and fed me lies.

If you are unable to see this e-mail, please click here. The Fruit of Your Words TODAY’S SCRIPTURE “The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit” (Proverbs 18:21, NIV) TODAY’S WORD from Joel and Victoria Our words have creative power. Whenever we speak something out, either good or bad, we are giving life to what we are saying. Too many people go around saying negative things about themselves, their family, and their future. Things like, “I’ll never be successful. This sickness is going to get the best of me. Business is so slow I don’t think I’m going to make it. Flu season is coming. I’ll probably get it.” They don’t realize they are prophesying their future. The Scripture says, “We will eat the fruit of our words.” That means we’re going to get exactly what we’ve been saying. Here is the key: you’ve got to send your words out in the direction you want your life to go. You cannot talk defeat and expect to have victory. You can’t talk lack and expect to have abundance. You will produce what you’ve been saying. With your words you can either bless or curse your future. Make sure your words are what God says about you so you can move forward in the life of blessing He has in store for you! A PRAYER FOR TODAY Heavenly Father, thank You for the creative power in my words. Thank You for the opportunity to work with You to set my life on the course of victory. I choose to use my words to bless others and receive Your blessing in my own life in return. In Jesus’ Name. Amen. — Joel & Victoria Osteen

Something Has to Give

I have the feeling I am not alone in this sentiment. I certain that if I were to take a poll, at least 90% of the people polled would share in this exact feeling. Each of knows of at least one person who has suffered some kind of economic setback or hardship in the past couple of years if in fact that person isn’t you. I could go on and on as to the state of the economy and how it has taken a negative toll on the majority of people in this country, but I believe a better use of my and all of our mental energy is to begin to expect better!
If it is true (for the sake of this piece, I am taking the position that it is absolute truth) that thought has creative power and that what you give your time and attention to grows, then I feel safe in saying we have all given more than enough energy to what is wrong in our lives and the lives of our friends, family members and fellow countrymen. By talking over and over again about how bad the economy is and how such in such has lost their job or their home and by giving in to the “life is hard” thought system, we have unconsciously contributed to the momentum of the suffering of ourselves and to the ones we love. However, now that we have been made aware of how our words have power, don’t you think it time to consciously direct our words toward the things we want in all of our lives? I sure do!
I will be the first to admit that I need to be more mindful and diligent first of what I think and second of what I say about my life and that of everyone else. If we want to see a positive shift in our economy and the overall state of humankind, then it is well past time for each of us to make a positive shift in what we say and what we think. It is also well past the time for us to be thinking only of ourselves and our immediate circle. We have a responsibility to each other to think of ourselves as a collective unit because as we can see what happens to one does affect the whole either directly or indirectly. I can’t see how anybody at this present time can deny that everyone in some form or fashion has been affected by the economic events of the past few years. As I am writing this, I am reminded of the Fabulous lyrics “I’m a movement by myself, but I’m a force when we’re together,” There is no other way out of our current dismal status except together. Literally we cannot afford to think as we have in the past nor can we afford to think only of ourselves. Because we are now aware of how detrimental our thinking has been to us before by seeing its effects then we must be more responsible with our thoughts and thereby shift the momentum and ultimately change our current conditions for the better.
What I am suggesting is radical and that is that we all must begin to think, say and know that better must come! I am asking us all to be diligent in believing that something must and will give and soon. With everyone giving our energy to the betterment of all, then positive change must come. I know there are people who will dismiss this entirely, but I have faith that there will be more who will see the significance and begin with diligence to speak the words of new, improved and renewed lives for us all! It is time for us all to realize and to utilize our power. I believe that our best days are still in front of us and that we have the power to make it happen! Imagine the difference we can make!
Lovingly…Deonae